Lifestyle Insight Magazine

WHAT IS IT??
I can’t put my finger on it
Isolation??
No, no it can’t be
I’ve been alone all this while
Wait. Is it finally getting to me??
Loneliness??
No, no it can’t be
I am the one actively not trying

Dissapointment??
No, no really i have experienced that my whole life
What, what is this feeling??
This itch
The annoyance
This…this frustration
This urge to withdraw
Depression ??
No, no it can’t be…i embraced her long ago

Reading into things
Overthinking and brushing everything away
Caring but at the same time not caring enough
Not sharing but yet oversharing alot
Conversing yet not expressing enough

What?!! What is this?

What is this twinge of sadness?
What is this feeling of a broken heart?
Being around them but not with them
Talking to them but not being heard
Listening but not being understood

Wanting to write down everything but….
But that fear of exposure
Of being seen
Wanting to be seen but putting on an invisibility cloak 

I’m starting to get weighed down
This…this feeling!!!
What is it??
Wanting to have it but not beg for it
Wanting to be understood just without explaining

Decided not to commit and now nowhere is safe to submit
To let go and offload
Offload this feeling
I WANT NOTHING OF IT
WHAT WHAT IS THIS FEELING!!
What is it??

I’m not sure i explained it right
I’m scared, putting off identifying it
But not knowing??

I wish it would go
Too much on my plate
Not enough balm to sate
This itch
I’m growing nervous
Nervous of what if’s

What if it never goes??
What if it ruined the show??
My show
My “I‘m okay” show

This feeling
It’s almost unfamiliar
It’s similar yet so different
So insidious
So dark
It’s brewing deep down i can feel it

I NEED TO PUT IT OUT!!!
But how? How when i don’t know
What is it?? What is this feeling?