Lifestyle Insight Magazine

‘Talent isn’t Genius, I want to be Great or Nothing’.
My first love…was color. Sometimes I wonder what my life would’ve been like if I had stayed with her. I know one thing for certain- I would’ve been happier, enjoyed whatever I was going to spend the rest of my life doing.
As I aged, the harsh realities of the world began to seep into the consciousness of those around me. The stereotypes and doubts crept into my aids, whispering that artists are doomed to struggle, that success is a fleeting dream. The notion that “starving artist” was more than just a phrase, but a prophecy, unsettled them.
The careers of science, with its promise of concrete results and tangible success, drew them in. Calling me in and installing in me an ambitious drive that still isn’t satisfied. What did amuse me about it though is how none of it ever made any sense to me. Yes, I found myself gravitating toward the logical, the methodical, and the predictable but knowing the ‘facts’ and believing or even understanding them are very different. Its actually kind of upsetting that we are taught these things about our bodies, life and the world itself and forced to accept them cause some dead guy claimed it to be so and any opposing voice to their ‘sacred theories’ are insulted. Putting it in writing, its clearly absurd when you think about it.
Over time, my love began to collect dust. The sketchbook remained shut, the paintbrushes dried, and the dance shoes gathered dust. The creative spark within me flickered, struggling to stay alive amidst the suffocating pressure of practicality.
Still the war rages on. My heart yearns for the freedom of expression, the thrill of bringing ideas to life. Yet, the conflict between love and ambition rages, each side refusing to yield. In this great war, I search for a cease fire– a truce that’ll allow me to reconcile my artistic soul with the driven, ambitious mind. Perhaps, one day, until then, the battle continues. One thing is certain though, I love the thrill of the fight.