The Pen That Sets Me Free
I’m thankful for this pen
I’m thankful for those pages
All those times of confusion and raging
All those regrets and mistakes
The holding back and the pain
So many words but a closed mouth gate
Red eyes glaring at whose to blame
Punctured palms, ragged breathing
Huff and puffs in sorrow, almost losing restrain
Popping veins, increased sighs
As i collapse in my chair and lean on my book
I’m thankful for this pen
Release and ecstasy
The flow of feelings, rivaling the sea
The untold words no longer buried
No regrets
The burning pages for an ink thickened by despair
Or maybe sorrow, happiness or fear
I’m grateful for this pen
Because how else will the world know of hearts
How else would it know of the people, the places
The things and the seasons
The feelings and the reasoning
The ideals and the dreaming
the hopes and fears
How else would the world know us
Let me rephrase that last part
I’M GRATEFUL FOR THIS PEN
BECAUSE HOW ELSE WILL THE WORLD KNOW MY HEART
HOW ELSE WOULD IT KNOW OF MY PEOPLE, MY PLACES
MY THINGS AND MY REASON
MY FEELINGS AND MY REASONINGS
MY IDEALS AND MY DREAMING
MY HOPES AND MY FEARS
HOW ELSE WOULD THE WORLD KNOW ME.
Elusive Shadow
WHAT IS IT??
I can’t put my finger on it
Isolation??
No, no it can’t be
I’ve been alone all this while
Wait. Is it finally getting to me??
Loneliness??
No, no it can’t be
I am the one actively not trying
Dissapointment??
No, no really i have experienced that my whole life
What, what is this feeling??
This itch
The annoyance
This…this frustration
This urge to withdraw
Depression ??
No, no it can’t be…i embraced her long ago
Reading into things
Overthinking and brushing everything away
Caring but at the same time not caring enough
Not sharing but yet oversharing alot
Conversing yet not expressing enough
What?!! What is this?
What is this twinge of sadness?
What is this feeling of a broken heart?
Being around them but not with them
Talking to them but not being heard
Listening but not being understood
Wanting to write down everything but….
But that fear of exposure
Of being seen
Wanting to be seen but putting on an invisibility cloak
I’m starting to get weighed down
This…this feeling!!!
What is it??
Wanting to have it but not beg for it
Wanting to be understood just without explaining
Decided not to commit and now nowhere is safe to submit
To let go and offload
Offload this feeling
I WANT NOTHING OF IT
WHAT WHAT IS THIS FEELING!!
What is it??
I’m not sure i explained it right
I’m scared, putting off identifying it
But not knowing??
I wish it would go
Too much on my plate
Not enough balm to sate
This itch
I’m growing nervous
Nervous of what if’s
What if it never goes??
What if it ruined the show??
My show
My “I‘m okay” show
This feeling
It’s almost unfamiliar
It’s similar yet so different
So insidious
So dark
It’s brewing deep down i can feel it
I NEED TO PUT IT OUT!!!
But how? How when i don’t know
What is it?? What is this feeling?
My Fathers Arms
Saying “Im Tired”
An Optimist
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